Ben Franklin Effect
We grow to like people we've done favours for, not just people who've done favours for us.
What it means
The Ben Franklin Effect is the observation that we tend to like someone more after we’ve done them a favour - not the other way round. It’s named after Benjamin Franklin, who described using this technique to win over a political rival by asking to borrow a rare book. The rival obliged, and afterwards treated Franklin with much greater warmth.
This feels counterintuitive. Surely we do favours for people we already like? But the psychology works in reverse too. When we do something for someone, our brain needs to justify the effort. The easiest justification is: “I must like this person.” The behaviour creates the feeling, not the other way round.
It’s a specific case of cognitive dissonance resolution. The contradiction between “I did something nice for this person” and “I don’t particularly like them” creates discomfort. Rather than conclude we did something irrational, we adjust our feelings to match our actions.
In the real world
In the workplace, this is why asking a colleague for small pieces of help or advice can build a better relationship than offering help yourself. The act of helping you gives them a psychological stake in your success.
It’s also used in sales and persuasion. Getting someone to do a small favour - fill in a survey, hold a leaflet, sign a petition - creates a subtle bond. It’s the foot in the door that makes the bigger ask easier, because they’ve already invested in the relationship.
How to spot it
Notice when you feel warmly towards someone you've helped. Ask yourself: do I genuinely like this person, or has the act of helping them changed how I feel? The favour came first. The fondness followed.
The thought to hold onto
We don't just do things for people we like. We like people because we've done things for them.