# relationships

Ben Franklin Effect

We grow to like people we've done favours for, not just people who've done favours for us.

Betrayal Aversion

We'd rather face a worse outcome from chance than a better one that carries any risk of being betrayed by another person.

Blind Spot Bias

The tendency to recognise cognitive biases in others while failing to see them in yourself.

Cognitive Dissonance

The uncomfortable tension we feel when holding two contradictory beliefs at the same time.

Compartmentalisation

Keeping contradictory beliefs, values, or behaviours in separate mental boxes so they never have to confront each other.

Contrast Effect

The tendency for your judgement of something to shift depending on what you compare it to.

DARVO

A manipulation pattern where the offender denies wrongdoing, attacks the accuser, and reverses victim and offender roles.

Denial

The refusal to accept an uncomfortable truth, even when the evidence is overwhelming.

Displacement

Redirecting an emotional response - usually anger or frustration - away from its real source and onto a safer, less threatening target.

Expectancy Violation

When someone breaks from expected behaviour, you don't just notice - you react more strongly than the behaviour itself would normally warrant.

FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt)

A manipulation pattern that uses fear, obligation, and guilt to control another person's behaviour and override their independent decision-making.

Fundamental Attribution Error

The tendency to explain other people's behaviour as a result of their character while explaining your own as a result of your circumstances.

Gaslighting

Manipulating someone into doubting their own perception, memory, or sanity.

Mental Model

Hanlon's Razor

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by ignorance, carelessness, or incompetence.

Love Bombing

Overwhelming someone with excessive affection, attention, and praise early in a relationship to create emotional dependency and control.

Mere Exposure Effect

The tendency to develop a preference for things simply because you've encountered them before.

Microaggressions

Small, everyday slights and indignities - often unintentional - that communicate hostility or prejudice toward members of marginalised groups.

Moral Hypocrisy

Judging others by a stricter moral standard than the one you apply to yourself.

Moral Hypocrisy Judgement

We punish the contradiction between someone's stated values and their behaviour more harshly than we punish the behaviour alone.

Logical Fallacy

Moving the Goalposts

Changing the criteria for proof or success after they've been met - ensuring that no evidence is ever good enough.

Naive Realism

The belief that you see the world as it objectively is - and that anyone who disagrees must be biased, uninformed, or irrational.

Negativity Bias

The tendency for negative experiences, information, and emotions to affect us more strongly than positive ones.

Psychological Projection

Attributing your own uncomfortable feelings, motives, or traits to someone else.

Rationalisation

Constructing a logical-sounding explanation for a decision or behaviour that was actually driven by emotion.

Reactance

The instinct to resist or do the opposite when you feel your freedom of choice is being threatened or taken away.

Reaction Formation

Unconsciously expressing the opposite of what you truly feel, turning unacceptable impulses into exaggerated displays of the reverse.

Self-Serving Bias

The tendency to credit your successes to skill and your failures to circumstances.